There are skills in life they won’t teach you in school. Learning how to measure your penis size is one of them.
This extracurricular activity seems unnecessary in everyday life, perhaps. That is unless you want to figure out what condom size you need.
We’ve broken this article into two sections — tips and technique — plus answers to a couple of quick questions a lot of people have. Before we get going, remember to pay close attention to the tips and take notes if necessary. You want to do this right, right?
Why measure your penis?
There may be a variety of reasons you want to do this but let’s stick with these two, one of which we already alluded to:
- You just want to know (possibly for bragging rights)
- You need to buy condoms and you want to know what size to get
For the sake of this article, we of course look at this task from a condom prospective.
Condoms come in a variety of sizes so knowing your penis size helps you find the right rubber for your wiener. Once you identify where you stand, head over to our condom size chart.
If you happen to already know your condom size without knowing your penis size, you can leave the class if you want. Visit our condom sizes product page. There you’ll find an array of condoms to choose from.
Condom sizing is pretty straightforward. It’s kind of like buying a t-shirt. You don’t have to go through a plethora of sizes.
If this subject is new to you, however, don’t forget to check out our other article where we talk about condom sizes.
Do I have to measure myself?
No, you can have someone do it for you.
In all seriousness, you can go on, living a perfectly happy life, without ever knowing your official penis size. Unless state laws change, your driver’s license won’t show your penis size next to your weight and height anytime soon.
Condoms are not all the same, and even when stated as the same size they may feel slightly different. If you don’t measure, you can try multiple condoms until you find what you like and what feels great.
So, to answer the question, you don’t have to measure your penis, but if you want to, you can do it yourself or ask your partner to help you out.
And now without further ado… here are our tips.
Tips on how to measure your penis size
Tip #1: Relax and have fun whether you are doing this by yourself or with your partner. You are only taking the measurements of your penis so what could go wrong? It’s all in your own hands, literally.
Tip #2: You will need to have a few things handy to make the process as smooth sailing as possible.
Here are a few suggested things to have in your toolbox:
- a tape measure (for girth)
- a 12-inch ruler or longer (for length)
- personal lubricant (you can guess)
- scissors (Tip #6 )
- notepad (for writing numbers down)
- two letter-size sheets of paper (Tip #6 )
- pen, pencil or thin marker
- a penis (that’s the star of the whole show)
- a friend/partner (if desired)
Tip #3: It doesn’t matter if your tape measure and ruler are in millimeters or inches. You can always convert the measurements you collect by using a conversion calculator. Don’t know what a conversion calculator is? Ask your friend Google to help.
Tip #4: In the previous tip we mentioned that it doesn’t matter if the tape measure and ruler are in millimeters or inches, and it doesn’t, but hear us out on this.
We think that using millimeters gives much more measuring accuracy for this purpose.
Tip #5: Get your pen, pencil or thin marker ready. It’s best not to use a thick one since that type of marker is a bit overkill. You want a nice thin line for marking the point. Stick with us; it will make more sense in the next tip.
Tip #6: If for some reason a tape measure is not available to you here is what you can do. Use scissors to cut a strip of paper that is about an inch in width and 10 or 12 inches long.
Warning: It’s best NOT to use scissors anywhere near your penis. You wouldn’t want an unfortunate mishap, would you?
Once you cut out the strip of paper, you can use it the same way you would use the tape measure. Use your thumb and index finger to hold the paper or tape measure, wrap it around your penis then mark the spot.
Tip #7: This one is self-explanatory, but we feel the need to say it anyway. Measure yourself in a private location. We don’t want you to get in trouble with the local authorities. You know what we mean.
Tip #8: Ask your partner to help you. It’s always nice to get a helping hand. This can actually be quite fun. Make it part of your foreplay, maybe even role-play with your partner being a seamstress or tailor.
If you fly solo or don’t need any help, you will need to rely on you and only you. We know you can do it.
Tip #9: This tip is related to the previous one and is entirely up to you. We recommend using a few drops of personal lubricant to help you with your penis erection.
A good slide is essential when it comes to penis play. Just about everyone’s penis dislikes dryness. If it’s kinda dry, it often doesn’t cooperate.
Tip #10: Having a notepad nearby by can be handy to write down the numbers so you won’t forget them. Otherwise you would have to start over again.
Tip #11: To get the best results keep this important fact in mind: penises do not perform well in a cold environment. They tend to shrink. Keep the room temperature at a comfortable temperature, say between 59˚ and 77˚F (15˚ and 25˚C) to be able to more easily keep your full erection. Temperature is relative, however. If your preference falls outside our 18˚ range, that’s OK.
Now that the theory and tips portion of our penis measuring training camp is over, it’s time to move on to the practice field.
We suppose you now have all of the recommended tools, right? So, are you ready to measure your penis? Let’s proceed.
Technique for how to measure your penis size
The goal is straightforward. You want to get two measurements out of this. Length and girth (circumference).
In terms of penis length, there are technically two penis lengths. No, we’re not talking about two-headed mutants. The length varies considerably depending on whether the penis is flaccid or erect.
We only care about the erect length because that’s what relates to condom use.
Measuring the length
1. Get hard
You know yourself better than anybody and understand what’s necessary for you to make yourself stand at attention.
Quick tip: A ruler is straight and firm, so it’s better than the tape measure for measuring the length.
2. Measure quick
- Start measuring right when your penis gets fully erect. Who knows how long it will last…
- Measure on the top (not where the balls are)
- Press the ruler gently against the shaft from your penis base
- DO NOT press the ruler to the pubic bone to add extra length
Measuring the girth (circumference)
While still keeping a full erection use the tape measure (or the strip of paper if you don’t have a tape measure) and wrap it around the base of your penis. This is the side closer to your body.
Once it’s wrapped around your erect penis, read the number.
Average penis size
In case you are wondering what is the size of an average erect human penis. According to the know-it-all Wikipedia the average human dick size is 5.17 inches (131 mm).
You should know that the penis size you just measured is not going to equal the condom size. Here is why. Condoms are stretchy. In order for a condom to stay on without slipping it has to fit comfortably albeit snugly. You wouldn’t want any fluids to seep past the sheath. That is why the actual condom size is slightly smaller, approximately 80-90% smaller, than your measurements.
Penis measuring recap
Don’t take these things too seriously. It’s all fun. Unless your member swings way far in one size direction or the other, you should fit into one of the size groups typically offered by most brands. Your measurements are a good starting point and you go from there.
That’s all there is to it when it comes to how to measure your penis size. It wasn’t that hard, was it?
Whether you are new to this penis size measuring game or just wanted to do it again, we’re happy that our tips and technique help you compile measurement data. We want you to have confidence when selecting the perfect condom match for your penis size.
We got you covered!
Be first to know about sales, discounts, new products...
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.